Stalkers Are Bad
by Spirit Wolf
Summary: Yep, Heero is getting stalked. By who? -_- Why did you even bother to ask? Not for Relena fans!!!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Wing, but if I did, I'd be a very happy person. Don't sue me!!!! Please?????? Oh yeah, I don't own Neon Genesis: Evangeleon either. 

**_Stalkers Are Bad_**  
**By Spirit Wolf**

  
With an uncharacteristic yawn, Heero surveyed the videos on the shelf. He just couldn't figure out what to watch. Even the Perfect Soldier needs entertainment. 

Finally settling for a couple of Evangelion videos, he turned to head for the counter, but stopped when he caught sight of a familiar figure. He stared harder, but the figure was gone. 

_Must have imagined it,_ he thought. He payed for the videos at the counter of the store and left. Walking silently along the footpath, he debated where he should head next. He paused as he remembered that he needed something for dinner, so he headed for the supermarket. Once there, he browsed the shelves calmly, contemplating what he should eat. 

The supermarket was unusually quiet. Heero scanned some shelves with his eyes, still not knowing what he wanted for dinner. He froze when he heard footsteps behind him. He spun around, but there was no one there. But he wasn't called the Perfect Soldier for nothing - someone was stalking him. 

Cautiously, he entered another aisle, and kept glancing in every direction. He continued on, disappearing around a corner. 

His stalker quickly pursued him. The figure turned the corner - only to bump into Heero. 

"Relena." 

"Heeeeeeeeeroooooooooo!!!!!" 

"Why are you following me?" 

"Because tomorrow's my birthday!!!" 

"..." 

"And I'm having a party! Won't you come, Heero? Please?" 

He shook his head silently and turned to leave. 

"Wait Heero! Why? Why won't you come?" 

"Hn." 

"Please Heero?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I'm busy." 

"Too busy for me? Come on, Heero!" 

Heero realized his eyebrow was starting to twitch, so he quickly turned and headed for the checkout. He still hadn't decided what he was going to eat, but there was no time for that now. 

His trained ears could hear the footsteps behind him, so he quickened his pace. He walked right through the checkout - he had nothing to pay for - and quickly left the building. He walked down the footpath and turned into an alley. There, he sighed and leaned against the wall... 

Until he noticed a figure in the shadows of the alley. 

"Heeeerooooo!!!!" 

Shocked, Heero quickly left the alley and walked swiftly along the street. He noticed a hairdressing salon and he quickly entered. Trying to calm his racing heart, he looked around the shop. Nearby, a woman was brushing the hair of a customer. 

Heero headed for the seats to rest, until he saw the customer turn around to look at him. His heart almost stopped. 

"Heeeerooooo!!!!" 

Heero completely lost his calm composure and bolt out the door. He ran as fast as possible, until he turned a corner and slammed into someone. 

"AAHH! Hey! Watch where you're going!" the stranger cried. 

But upon closer inspection, Heero realized that the stranger was no stranger - it was Duo. 

"Oh, hi Heero!" Duo said once he had recognized him. "Why are you in such a hurry?" 

Heero didn't answer, but instead watched an approaching bus. Glancing around, he realized he was at a bus stop. 

Perfect! 

He calmly waited for the bus to slow down. 

"Uh, hey? Are you ignoring me?" 

"No time," Heero said, quickly climbing onto the bus as its door opened. Upon catching sight of the bus driver, though, he jumped out again just as quickly. 

"Heeeerooooo!!!!" 

"Oh, THAT'S why he's in such a hurry," Duo muttered to himself as Heero ran down the footpath. 

Heero was almost panicking now. Nearby, he spotted the entrance to an amusement park. He quickly headed for the ticket booth to pay for entry, but froze, jaw twitching and eyes wide in absolute horror. 

Yep, you guessed it. 

"Heeeeerooooo!!!!" the ticket salesperson screeched as Heero ran. 

He ran and ran, completely panicking now. He neared the edge of the city, and raced out into the grassy fields beyond. 

He began to slow down, and inspected his surroundings. It was a very peaceful spot, complete with lush grass and beautiful flowers. 

A helicopter approached, and began to hover right above Heero. The pilot of the helicopter leaned out the window. 

"HEEEEEEROOOOO!!!!!!!" 

Once again, he ran. 

_What I wouldn't give for my gun right now,_ he thought as he ran. The helicopter pursued him. Heero watched it in horror over his shoulder. It was catching up! He stared at it as he ran... 

...And he ran right off a cliff. 

He didn't even shout as he fell. He just fell. 

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Heero grimaced as he noted that Relena had jumped out of her helicopter and was now falling after him. 

Finally, Heero hit bottom. 

~~~~~~~~~~

There was white everywhere. Heero opened his eyes and realized he was floating in a void of nothingness. It was the most content place he had ever been. 

_Am I...? Is this the Afterlife?_ he thought. 

Finally, after all the suicide attempts and near death experiences, he was dead. He was in the Afterlife. 

And he liked it. He closed his eyes and floated calmly. 

A figure appeared next to him. 

"HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

~~~~~~~~~~

  
*sweatdrops* Uh... yeah. The end. Heh heh. Odd, huh? *cringes as a bunch of readers attack* AAAHHH!!! Don't hurt me!!! 

Ah well, please review!!! 

**~Spirit Wolf~**


End file.
